How come the most cherished photos are captured in the midst of the toughest battles? The most memorable moments are of fighting to overcome our boundaries? While conquering of weaknesses. Our limits. Our fears. And our temptations to settle for comfort over rigor. In the end, trekking is not about “conquering the mountains”. Far from it. To the contrary, trekking lends us the unique opportunity to conquer ourselves. Leaving us with the realization that most things worthwhile are uphill.
Why settle with complacency and ease when given the choice to seek out and pursue the more difficult, and yet infinitely more rewarding path? Today’s climb of around 1.500m was challenging, but fun to say the least. It’s not often that I describe these kinds of climbs as fun, but in comparison to our previous treacherous climbs (or descents) this time the circumstances were right. I was rested, well prepared (with new socks, soles, blister band-aids and a reduced load), and in an all-around good frame of mind. How could you not be after listening to John Maxwell’s inspirational book on “Developing the Leader Within You 2.0” while climbing the Alps in Tirol? This quote from him summarizes our trekking journey over the past week, and demonstrates how the experiences gained while trekking emulate the experiences gained throughout life itself, only in fast forward motion:
“Anyone can climb for a short time, at least everyone does every once in a while. But can you sustain it? Can you climb every day, day after day, year after year? There is no substitute for consistency; consistency compounds.” (paraphrased)
In the world of trekking, or any endurance sport really, consistency is what it’s all about. Consistency is carrying forward step by step, while synchronizing breath after breath, no matter how loud you’re panting or how much your legs are trembling. Consistency is the patience to endure…
In the end, the greatest excitement and joy is felt during the uphill climb; when you experience this powerful, reassuring feeling that you are on the right path and that if you sustain it long enough, while overcoming the many stumbling blocks along the way, you will eventually make it to the top. And yet, it’s not even about arriving at the top; the top is rather lonely and agitating if you ask me. You feel isolated when looking beneath you at a cloud-filled sky, seeing nothing but the mountain tops; the clouds acting as a shield and barrier, separating you from the rest of the world. There’s almost a sense of guilt in having left the rest of the world behind while you are quietly experiencing victory alone.
And you feel agitated because the question that without exception always follows is “What’s Next?” You wonder where you go from there and before even having had the chance to celebrate and breathe a sigh of relief, you’re anxiously seeking out the next road ahead… It’s taken crossing quite a few passes for me to realize that trekking is about the climb, not the destination.
I felt on top of the world while climbing the last stretch up to the “Braunschweiger Hütte”, our simple abode for the night, while blasting and singing along to “Nothing Else Matters”, one of my favorite songs of all time. This climb was extraordinary, lending itself to spectacular views of mountains, waterfalls and glaciers throughout the entire climb. Curiously, upon reaching the top the most beautiful views were behind us; our views were now blocked by rocks and walls, preventing us from looking past our blind-sided angle. Despite our success, or perhaps precisely as a result of our success we were now blinded. How true this statement is of life itself! In the same way, life is about the journey, not the achievement of the goal itself.
So why is it that we never stay content for long? That upon achieving any given milestone in life, we divert our attention from it and focus on the next challenge ahead, rather than pausing even for a moment to take in the present state we’re in? I’ve had this unquenchable thirst for adventure for as long as I can remember. In my younger years, skiing the black diamonds wasn’t enough – upon conquering a run I was anxious to take on a more exhilarating drop. An enjoyable day by the beach wasn’t enough – I spent hours persuading my (then) boyfriend to jump off a plane with me – a romantic day ended with skydiving. Trekking the Himalayas once wasn’t enough – just two years later my husband and I returned and almost doubled our distance and height, surpassing a 5.500m climb and three peaks (as if one wasn’t enough)… And career-wise getting promoted wasn’t enough – from the moment my title changed I anxiously sought out new targets to achieve, putting all this self-imposed pressure on myself to become a thought leader in the data and analytics space. I’ve tried many times to make sense of this restless momentum – this force that drives us to be satisfied only after overexerting ourselves and reaching our tipping point.
Why are we wired to constantly push our limits; to put ourselves on the verge of self-harm before feeling satisfied? For some time I considered such behavior irrational and made intentional attempts to change. Nevertheless, these efforts were short-lived and fruitless, leaving me more inquisitive than frustrated. I quickly noticed that I feel most excited when going through and overcoming something I previously deemed as impossible. When proving that inner, doubting voice wrong. Truth is that moments of pain and hardship teach us most about ourselves, while at the same time allowing us to feel this short-lived amazing feeling of strength and invincibility that follows. They give us a unique gift that we are unable to experience while at ease. A natural, euphoric “high”, even when it means that it is accompanied by “lows”.
Looking back to these past six days on the trek, we did have quite a few lows. Climbing up slippery rocks during a thunderstorm, getting into a fight that left me tempted to jump of the cliffs, walking all day with large blisters on the bottom of my feet and a bloody toe, just to name a few. And yet, it’s not these moments that you remember. It’s the triumphs following these moments. The enemy is never pain, but stagnation. There is nothing worse for a restless soul like mine that stagnation. And so we pay the cost, whatever it may be, just to avoid the unfulfilled state of stagnating. Call it irrational, call it irresponsible, call it whatever you may. Perhaps it’s just our human nature.
And so I’ve dedicated my latest piano composition to this unexplainable quest to embark on the more difficult path, whatever it may be, without necessarily having a focus on caring to reach the end goal, but rather simply for the sake of experiencing the thrill of the journey. The song “Reaching Higher” has an unremitting momentum to it which reflects the ambitious race to expand and overcome our boundaries. In some ways exciting, in others overbearing – it’s a song about this “irrational” race forward that makes up the reality for so many of us.
While I haven’t entirely given up on my lifelong dream of becoming a professional composer, writing music for films and touching people worldwide with evocative and poignant piano solos, this dream is not the reason I dedicate time to my craft. I do it simply for the fulfillment it gives me. It’s merely my way of channeling confounded emotions into the perfect form of self-expression. It is, above all, my means of getting in tune with and expressing my feelings. At times dark, at times confounded, at times full of passion, or sorrow, or joy. Whatever these feelings may be, no matter how overwhelming they may feel at the moment, it would have been a pity to not have the chance to experience them for the fear of crossing some imaginary boundary.
Let’s face it – boundaries are made to be crossed. Mountains are made to be climbed 😊. Doubts and fears are there to be overcome. Hardships are placed along our way to teach us lessons that would not stick without the accompanying pain, and to allow us to experience the far deeper sense of joy and gratitude upon having overcome them. Besides, the troughs pale in comparison to the peaks, allowing us to cherish the peaks with all the more gratitude. Perhaps this innate drive to reach higher is intended to enable us to experience life at its fullest, and to grant us a heightened sense of purpose and fulfillment along the way.
With that said, I am at last unapologetic for my insatiable desire of “Reaching Higher”. And I can only encourage the reader to dare to reach higher as well. Not for the sake of achieving some goal, but rather to allow yourself to experience the ecstasy, and yes, the disappointments; the excitements, accompanied with hardships and pain, and ultimately the growth that results from taking the more challenging path. In the end, it’s about the journey, not the destination. There’s nothing more precious than the climb.
Check out the Single Reaching Higher by Anastasia, available on all major streaming outlets.